....Listen Windows, it's nice to know that it only takes you a few seconds to recover from an "unexpected shutdown" but some of us are still pissed about it, ok? 'Cause you're popping up on the desktop, all like "I RECOVERED!!!! IT MAY TAKE A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I COMPLETELY FUCK UP AGAIN!!!" and like, I'm happy for you and supportive and stuff...but what about me? I plug you in when your battery is low, defrag your hard drives at least once a decade and keep you generally pretty clean (sorry about the crumbs in your keyboard....but I like a little toast with my solitaire) and you can't even ask if I'm ok? BITCH, I OWN YOU!! And to be quite honest...it is NOT ok and I still haven't recovered from the great hard drive crash of 2007....I was in the middle of photoshopping my ex-boyfriend's head onto various farm animals engaged in strange sexual acts and you just SHUT DOWN AND ERASED EVERYTHING.
I'm still in therapy.